Tales from the Secret Agent: The stag do

Secret Agent stag holiday
By Travel Gossip Reporters
11/11/2023
Home » Tales from the Secret Agent: The stag do

I am enjoying some late autumn sunshine when my peace is suddenly disturbed by a group of six lads trying to cross the busy road outside the office.

They’re the type you would definitely avoid in a dark alley and I see they are heading my way. Even before they’ve set foot in the door I just know it’s going to be a stag do.

As they fling themselves into all the available seats and immediately man-spread, I am advised by the one dressed head to toe in fake Burberry that they are indeed looking for a holiday to celebrate some forthcoming nuptials. My heart sinks and I let out a little sigh that is louder than it should be.

Putting on my ‘I love stag dos’ face to hide my ‘why me’ grimace, I enquire what they are looking for.  

“Oh, it’s easy,” says Mr Burberry, which in actual fact are the last words any agent thinks when a stag do is mentioned. However, I’m in for a pleasant surprise when he whips a spreadsheet out of his bag.

“There’s 14 of us and here are the full names and dates of birth,” he says, with the sort of organisational prowess that would make any mum proud. “I have all 14 deposits with me now. We want these flights and this hotel – seven rooms, all with breakfast.

“We don’t need checked-in luggage. Hand luggage and coach transfers will be fine.”

My joy is short-lived when he announces: “I’ve been online and I have found this price.”

Before I can reply, he says he knows it will be more expensive with an agent but all the lads prefer the safety of booking with me.

I could have kissed him, but the cold sore above his lip put me off a bit.

Just 20 minutes later they are all confirmed and ready for action. There’s a juicy profit for the shop and we still came in under the price found online by £30 each, which impressed them no end.

Deal done and printouts handed over, they all express their gratitude and shake my hand politely. It just goes to show you should never judge a book by its cover.

For more Secret Agent tales, click here.

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